Tears for trees

I am not really sure why, but I am still really upset about the tree. I layed in bed last night and just cried. Of course it is not the tree, really, but my sons heart break that has me so upset. That and the lack of control I feel in my life. I cried and prayed telling God how tired I am of living this way and begging for some kind of change for the better. My faith is waining really bad right now....I feel so empty, tired and alone. This isn't new for me, but it is really deep right now....deeper than it has been in a long time. It isn't that I am ungrateful for what I do have, it is just that the way things are right now, it is too hard. I can't turn back the clock and change things that I wish were different.....and I can't see the future to make good decisions on now....so what do I do? Almost every major decision we have made in our life has seemed to be the wrong one. We are again thinking on a major thing and don't know if it is the right thing or not. No matter how much praying I do on something, I never feel a definite answer one way or another. I just go with my gut most of the time. I feel so abandoned and alone. I don't want much, really I don't. I just want enough to not have to worry anymore. To be able to have a little put back for a rainy day and maybe some for retirement. A house that is big enough, but not opulent. A vehicle that runs well and enough money to care for it.
I know Marks emotional problems aren't his fault. But I so wish I could wave a magic wand and make them go away so he could keep a job for more than a year. So he could make a better life for us all. I wish I knew what to do, if anything, to help. I am again putting my nose to the gind stone to get the house in shape again, but I don't know if that is enough. How do I be the kind of wife he needs, so he can be the kind of man he is ment to be? I don't have alot of energy. I am just not sure I can be the superwoman that is needed for a man to be successful. I know there are men that do it on their own, but what is that saying....."Behind every great man there stands a great woman." Welll, I am FAR FAR from a great woman...so what do I do to help him? I have lost soooooo much faith. Faith in God, and Faith in Life. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. I have to be honest. I love my husband, I really really do. And I want more than anything for him to be happy...even more than my own happiness. Mainly because I know that if he were happy, I'd be happy. So....what in the world do I do??? Kai