Lost in confusion....

I am tired and confused lately. Not wanting to do much of anything. Not really confused really, just frustrated and sad I guess. Lately Emma will do nothing but stand by me and cry unless I pick her up. I can't get anything done. And I have a lot to do. She is constantly pushing the computer tray in and saying "UP". It's making me crazy. I have 3 costumes to do in less than 2 weeks and I have no motivation to do them. I am stressed out about the up coming holidays. We are going to Colorado for Thanksgiving...and that'll be nice. But at this point I don't have a clue where Christmas for my kids is coming from. My house is a wreck all of the time and I find myself sitting on the couch holding the baby and wanting to just skip to January and forget about my birthday and dh birthday, Christmas and Caleb's birthday all in December. Just forget them and go on with life and not stress....but will that be possible...NO. Well...mine will be forgotten cuz it usually is. I'm sick of there being no money. Sick of not knowing when or how something is going to hit us and make things worse than they already are. OKAY...can you tell Aunt Flow hit this am? I was PSMing so bad yesterday I am sure my kids thought I was crazy. I ate a whole HUGE chocolate bar...you know one of those big Hershey ones the size of a small notebook? But it was yummy. It had Heath toffee pieces in it...LOL. Anyway...off to see if I can't at least get the Wendy costume made today. It's just a simple dress..... So it should be quick and easy. Then on to Peter Pan and after that the most difficult Tinkerbell for Emmaleigh. Off I go. Kai

Meat, Meat and more Meat!!!

Meat, meat and more meat. I am on a quest. I want to have my freezer FULL of meat. That way I don't have to worry about it. In actuallity I want a years worth of food storage here, at least. Wasn't very sure where to start, so I am starting with meat. Something I know I will use. Last week Alberson's had assorted pork chops for $1 a pound. So, I got 20lbs of it and seperated it up into double freezer bags of 6 chops each. Got 6 bags out of 20lbs. Buy for less had country style ribs for .99c a pound. I got 10lbs of that, 2 packages. So I just put one pkg each in the freezer bags. Now today Albertson's ad changed. They have boneless skinless chicken breasts and tenders for 1.69lb., regular price was $3.49. Almost a $2 savings per lb. So I got 10lbs of whole breasts and 5 of tenders. There are now 6pkgs of chicken in the freezer. It is now about half to a third full of meat. I want it stuffed to overflowing!!! On from there...I'm going to start on canned goods. Probably go to Aldi's for that. I want to get some cheap pvc pipe shelves from Walmart and put them on top of the built in dresser in my bedroom for canned goods. We are getting alot more money than we are used to spending on food from the state for now, so I thought it might be wise to start some kind of storage with it. Makes me feel good to know that we are starting to get things more in order. More later, Kai.

Crazy

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm not CRAZY!?!?! Here I am....up at 6am, but I've been awake since 4. I woke needing to pee, then couldn't get back to sleep. Just started to doze off when my alarm buzzed at 5, so I could wake Mark to be a work at 6. I started thinking about the Avian flu again, and couldn't get back to sleep. I have a HUGE weekend ahead of me, and I should be resting, but here I am sitting infront of this infernal machine!!! What the heck is my problem??? Why do I have such a hard time sleeping??? I guess if I cut out naps in the afternoon, that would help, but I wake up and my brain won't shut the hell up and then I can't get back to sleep. If I don't nap I can't finish my day. What am I supposed to do?? I hurt all the time, I'm tired all the time, and I have 4 kids to chase after and a household to run. I'm sick of worrying about things and sick of feeling so out of control.

Anyway...that being said....I'm off to start a VERY busy weekend. Monday is Miss Hannah's 6th birthday!!! I cannot belive it has been 6 whole years since she was born! She gets more and more beautiful every day. More and more smart each day, and more and more silly each day. She is the apple of her daddy's eye, and all she has to do is a little pout to get what she wants from him...LOL. We are having her birthday at my inlaws tomorrow evening. I am making dinner (fried chicken) for everyone, and I ordered a really nice Cinderella cake from Wal-mart. I know I'm getting her the Cinderella DVD, and one outfit for sure. But what else is up in the air at this point. We took her to the mall the other day and she wanted to look at all the clothes. She is such a little fashion plate! It's too funny. I asked her what she wanted for Birthday/Christmas, clothes or toys??? She replied with out missing a beat..."A little bit of toys and a lot of clothes!" Too too funny! I guess I will have to break out my sewing machine and whip her up a couple of new outfits. But not before her b-day....there's just not enough time. Anyway...I have to go shopping for her day this afternoon. Then I have to do the clothes at Family Dollar in the am and make chicken after that for dinner. Then off to Grandma and Grandpa's for a family birthday party!!!
I'm now going to go lay down for an hour or two and see if I can't get a little rest before I have to run around with my head chopped off. Later gaters, Kai

Rough night

I really hate it when I have to get up after a rough night! I was hoping to get a few extra minuets of sleep, but Emma woke earlier than her usual 9:30 or 10.....DANG! I don't wanna be up and I wanna go back to bed!!! I am not an early riser....or a morning person. Earliest I do is 7:30 when I have to get kids up for school....I try to stay up and get busy...that way I have about 2 or so hours before E. gets up to do things like shower and dress or a little quiet time or even a couple chores. But sometimes I go back to bed...I know that is naughty of me, but I just can't help myself if I had a bad night. I figure it Mark can sleep all day and get up just half an hour before he has to leave for work, why can't I get an extra hour or so if I'm tired. I also know that isn't the attitude to have as well..... Man am I bad or what??? Well...I suppose I should get busy. I need to get some dishes done and maybe go look at the dryer and see if I can't figure out why it isn't heating....YEP...just one more thing to add to my stress...the dryer stopped heating last night. I think it's the dial. That should be easy enough to fix. My father in law can help with it. But in the mean time...I am without! Well...........on to it I suppose.