Sorry so long.....

I have been terribly busy the past few weeks. I have been sewing and baking for people at church to make some extra Christmas money. Sorry I've been gone so long. Right now I am in crunch time trying to get the girls Christmas dresses done for church tomorrow morning. I am done with Emma's and am about 1/4 the way done with Hannah's. I will post more when I have more time. I hope to do a little bit tomorrow. I am all done shopping and after church all I need to do tomorrow is wrap presents. So....if I get a chance I will make a catch up post. Later Gaters! Love, Kai!!

Off we go...

I am starting to follow my daily schedual tomorrow. I wrote it out down to when I do what things. I sure am hoping I will be able to do this. I'm a bit worried I won't be able to do this and have a hard time following up.
I made a nice dinner this evening. Homemade mac and cheese with sliced smoked sausage in it, beets, and garlic bread. It was yummy. I was also good and cleaned up after. Did the dishes, wiped down the counters, table and stove. And swept. It is a step towards getting off on a good foot tomorrow. I am about to go and layout everyone's clothes for the morning and maybe lay down and watch tv with Emma for a while. I am very tired tonight. I am also going to do a quick sort of the laundry so I can start on my laundry schedual tomorrow as well. I have each day broken down into different things to wash....Like, tomorrow will be bedding and towles...aka linen. Then all the other days have a person's clothes to be done with Joshua doing his things on Saturday. I am also hoping that if I know what I am supposed to be doing each day I will be more likely to do it. Thing with me is I always feel so lost. I don't know where to start and just get bogged down feeling overwhelmed. I really am hoping that a strict structure will help me know what to do when and I will feel better able to handle things around here.
Wish me luck. Night all. Love, Kai.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Just want to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving day and hope you have as much to be thankful for as I do. Love, Kai

Accomplishments for 11/17/06

Today ended up being another bad day. But...I'm not going to dwell on it. It is just a fact that is. So.....I didn't get much done. On top of being a bad day, I was in pain and unable to accomplish much. I spent most of the afternoon on a heating pad. I didn't manage to get the things done yesterday that I wanted to, and didn't get to them today either, but they are there and will eventually happen.

What did get done was the dishes are still all finished, cuz I did them just now. I didn't do alot of cooking today, so I only had one load...plus the kids eat on styrafoam plates and that helps a bunch. I made dinner of loaded baked potatoes with all the fixins and some green beans and spinich on the side. Easy peasy...just baked the taters, fried up some bacon and warmed up the veggies. Before I head to bed here in a minuet I will be having the kids help my re-pick up the LR so that it is clean before bed. That's all that got done today. But it's better than nothing.

GOALS FOR TOMORROW:
Keep up with the dishes and living room pick up.
Clean off "Crap" counter.
Start on embelishing Hannah's dance recital that have to be done by Wed.
Prepare for Church on Sunday.

That's it for now. I'm going to bed now. Later Gaters. Love, Kai!

Accomplishments for 11/16/06

So....even though I am still very upset about the happenings of last night. And even though I am scared and worried...I am still concentrating on getting my home in order. I am taking baby stepping toward my goal. I am overwhelmed and frustrated, but I know it will come with time... Gosh...I sure hope it comes with time. So....this said...I am going to be posting my daily accomplishments so I can see what I have done.

I got Josh and Josh their lunches. I have done all...and that's...ALL...the dishes up. They were kinda backed up and now they are completely finished. I went to Walmart and got 2 utility selves to use as sort of dressers for Caleb and Hannah. I plan on working on my bedroom tonight while I watch Survivor and CSI:. And hopefully I will be able to get the shelves up on the counter and all stocked with the clean clothes I have folded on the dryer. I know I haven't done much today, but I have a screamer of a headache. But....I do plan to do more. UMMM...I may start doing a what I accomplished yesterday in the mornings so I can put it all down. I don't usually get a chance to get on this thing in the evenings. Anyway...that's all for now. Later Gaters. Love, Kai!

FUBAR

Just when all seems to be looking up.....just when I think I'm on a roll and starting to pull my head out of my ass and that we were going to be ok cuz Mark is working again. Just when I am now starting to enjoy the holidays I was dreading cuz I didn't know where Christmas was going to come from. Just when I thought my husband might have been able to get back to the place he wanted to be. Just when I thought I could relax, breath, feel good again if even for a brief moment......Things get all forked up!!! I am sooooo upset. Mark got a call from the temp agency that hired him for the bank job he started just 3 days ago....and they said the bank no longer needed his services. The reason being that he didn't show enough initive....????? Well....Hmmm....no one told him what they wanted of him. The didn't give him his own drawer. They didn't give him any kind of "training" because they were going to change their systems over...UM...TODAY. So for the first 2 days he didn't have much to do and today there wasn't much business cuz of the weather. We are both very upset....we had a huge fight...and I am at a loss. I just want to curl up and disapear. As I am sure he does as well. What next? How much more of this can we take? Where is He? Kai

This is my new Mascot....

I'm calling her Holly Homemaker......

I did not sleep....

At all last night. I have so many thoughts and ideas that my brain just won't shut up. I honestly was awake all night long.
The main theme that has been running around in my head has been it's time to grow up and get busy. I have waisted the last 19 years waiting around for someone else to live my life for me. Someone else to do the work. Well......no one else is going to do it. I can't control or change anyone else but myself. Well, it's time. I have decide that I am going to need to make myself a very strict structured plan to help me take care of the things I need to take care of. I believe that in the structure I will find freedom....at least that is my hope. There will be several steps to my plan and as soon as I get them all hammered out I will post them. I will be using my blog as a sounding board for my ideas....don't know if anyone will even read them, but I don't really care too much. It's more for me than anyone else anyway. When I have a better idea of what the steps to my plan are I will be back. Later Gaters! Love, Kai!!!

A quick update....well, kinda quick....

As per Miss Kayla's request...I am updating my blog. It was a rough day, and I am not going to go into details because I am just now getting over an upsetting incident that happened this morning, but suffice it to say....It was a less that stellar day. I am tired and sad, and determined to make tomorrow a better day.

Anyway.....Off to the good news....Actually the GREAT news!! As I posted a while back, my husband lost his job. Well....As of yesterday...He is now gainfully employed. And the best part is that he was able to get back into the banking industry....Which he likes so much more than retail. And if any of you out there have worked in retail, you know it is only one step up from working Fast food with even worse hours and treatment by upper management. I am soooo happy and proud that he was able to go out and find this job and now be able to take care of us in a way that he both enjoys and is proud of. I just send up a prayer that this place will be good for him and he will be able to do what he needs and wants to do. In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

Okay....Now....Lets see.....I have been on the Prozac for a while now, and I AM feeling better, but I am still not doing all the things I both need and want to do. I am trying, but I am failing most of the time. I desire to get both my home and life in more order. I have the sincere feeling and hope that if I do this I will help my husband be the man, husband, and father he wants to and was ment to be. I love him and want to be his help, and not his hindrance. And I feel that is all I have ever been to him. So...It's time to grow up, and step up. GOD HELP ME!!! So...I am going to be honest here. Flat out and bold face and up front. This place is a wreck. It has always been a wreck. I am not good at organizing things and I am very very bad about procrastinating. I have come to realize the the key to any kind of peace is going to be getting organized. The past few days I have been good about getting everything together for both Mark to go to work and the kids ready for school all the night before. That is a big deal for me. I haven't been able to do that very well in the past and it really makes the mornings alot easier for everyone if I do this one small thing. Instead of running around like a chicken with my head chopped off....I have everything at my fingers all ready, pressed and clean. So...That is a start....Just the first step of many. I hope...LOL. Anyways.....Tomorrow Miss Kayla and I are going to get started on my Homemaking Binder. I sure am hoping that it will help me to become the kind of wife and mother I am both ment and want to become. And again....GOD HELP ME!!! Please wish me luck. Later Gaters! Kai..........Ps...I was going to put a cute picture with this post, but I can't get silly Blogger to work with me...UGH. Maybe I will figure out why later, but I'm too tired right now. Night! Kai!!!

So far today......

It's been a few days since my last post. So I thought I should maybe pop my head in here and make a drop a quick note. Mark is out job hunting and he has an interview with Bank One on Wednesday.....PLEASE!!! Keep him in your prayers that he will find something soon!
We had a BBQ dinner on Friday at church. I took some shredded pork with homemade sauce and a pumpkin cake....they both went over very well. And we had alot of fun. I took the kids to see The Santa Clause 3 on Saturday. It was cute and they enjoyed the outing. Right now I am tring to get caught up on the Laundry. I am hoping to get it all washed and sorted through with the summer clothes put away by Friday. It's going to take me at least that long. I have alot to do.....4 full to overflowing hampers. UMMMMM.....I am also going to start on making some Christmas stuff too. Exactly what I'm not sure yet, but I am going to pull out my fabric and patterns and go through and find things to make, cuz it's gonna be a lean one this year. I know I have the stuff to make the kids each a set of pj's and a bath robe. I also need to think of things to make Marks family as well. I did that last year and it was a ton of fun. I am going to make candy and baked goods as usual..... but I haven't decided on what just yet. I am thinking about doing some homemade hot chocolate mix. We'll see. Everything is kind of up in the air at the moment. Okay....my break is over....back to the laundry. Later Gaters....Love, Kristen Kai!

IT'S OVER!!!...THANK HEAVEN!!!

Yesterday was a whole lot of fun!!! But I can tell ya....I sure am glad that it is over!!! I finished Brittany's costume around 4pm then she came over to get into it and ready for the DECA thing at the High School. Which we decided to go to for a while since it was SOOOOOOO cold outside. The kids looked really cute and had alot of fun. Then after the carnival at the HS we went to Marks parents house and Trick or Treated over in that neighborhood. My MIL loves to see the kids in their costumes and gets such a huge kick out of it. But as I said before I am glad that it is over.

Well...today is the first of the month and I have my FS allotment. It came to be $740 for the 6 of us. It's alot! And I can use it. That's for sure. I am going to start getting supplies for Christmas baking and candy making. I started the other day making plans for it. This morning I did my once a month Aldi shop. It it a great place to stock up on staples. We aren't to fond of any of their meat products, but I get things like chicken and beef on sale at Albertsons...which I also went to this am and got some assorted pork steaks that we will be having for dinner with a nice big salad and jazzed up stuffing. So far I have spent $121 at the two stores, but I won't have to go to Aldi's again until the 1st of Dec. I still need to get some things at Walmart that I don't get anywhere else...like deli meat and such. I also want to go to the bakery outlet, but I may not do that until tomorrow. We'll see. So for now I have $621 for the rest of the month.

Oh.....of subject...just to let y'all know. Dh had one interview with a personel placement office yesterday and they are going to try to place him back with a bank!!!!! He is really excited. He really likes working in a more professional setting. But he also had an interview with Kohls this afternoon....and he said if they offer him a possition he will go ahead and take it cuz we need money now....but it will just be a stop gap measure until Express Personel comes through with something else.....So things are definitely looking up! Keep us in your prayers.....Thanks!!! Later Gaters, Kai!

Pleasent Sunday

For once I actually had a pleasent Sunday. Usually they stress me out something awful...but I was a good girl and planned ahead and got everything ready last night. Seems that I am much more able to do the things I should/want to do lately. I think my meds are finally working....LOL. Anyway.... I enjoyed going to church and actually got something out of it for once. Emma went to the nursery and stayed in it without much trouble after she got over her initial reaction. I even got a short nap after all was said and done. Only about 45 min, but better than nothing and it did me alot of good. I took Joshua to work and got some biscuits from the store so I can make biscuits, gravey, eggs and grits for dinner. Sounded good to me. I am hoping to get a bunch done on Britany's costume tonight. I am actually feeling pretty good for once in my life....LOL. Later Gaters, Kai!

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.....

Well....I spent Tuesday with a friend eating lunch and doing some shopping at the store...then we talked for the rest of the afternooon. I did manage to get my counter cleaned off and Emma's costume cut out before I went to bed that night. So...I did manage to accomplish something that day.

Yesterday I spent the whole day sewing....and I did manage to finish the costume just in time to get it on her and out the door to go trunk or treat at the church. It was fun...but hectic. The upside being I am finished and when it's time to trick or treat on next Tuesday I don't have to worry about it..... The down side is I still have to make one for Joshua's girlfriend, Brittney. UGH! Oh well....at least the counter is already clean and it is also red and black like Emma's ladybug.

I overslept this am and didn't get Caleb and Hannah off to school...... I'm sooooo bad! But I was sooooo tired that I just didn't get up. I turned the alarm clock off, then layed back down......just for a minuet don't ya know....and didn't get up until 10am. That's when Emma woke me up. So now they are home for the day. But that's ok....no big deal. It isn't gonna kill them.

My goal for today is to get my dishes done and Brittney's costume cut out. I have until Monday to do it, but I don't wanna be cramming it in if I can help it. Dinner is Hamburger Gravey over mashed potatoes. We are running low on food at the moment and that is what I have on hand. Our next FS alotment isn't until next Wednesday and I am hoping that they will have our loss of income on there and it will be bigger. I can do with what we get now, but it is easier with more....of course. UGH...I sound so greedy...but I'm not! Just worried. Please pray for us! We really need the help. Later Gaters.....Love, Kai.

I'm starting a journal. I am striving for alot of things and thought it might be good to start writing things down and seeing if I can find somekind of focus. Right now my big goal is to get this house in order. It has been out of wack for so very long and it's time to be a grown up and do the things I am supposed to do. So...here goes! Wish me luck!

Today I did about 8 loads of the mountain of laundry I have to do. I also worked on the bathroom a bit. It isn't done by a long shot, but it's better than it was and will probably be finished tomorrow. I need to buy a new toilet brush.....where to other one went I have no clue, but went to clean the bowl and it was missing. I also need a trash can for in there. I'm kinda tired of paper rolls and trash all over the floor. Going to get them tomorrow. I still have much more laundry to do and a bunch to be put away, but I need to spend some time cleaning my room before I can put anything away. I do have it all in a basket however.

Tomorrow.....big goal is cleaning off the crap counter and get busy on Emma's costume. I have to have it done by Wed evening....UGH. I should have been working on that today, but I got busy doing other things. I am going to have to find some time to defrost the freezer so I can pull out meat for meals...UGH again!!! It has frosted over and I can't get at our food. HEY....maybe I can talk Mark into doing it since he isn't working at the moment. Tomorrow is also my counseling appt. that's at 11am. Okay...dinner??? UMMMM.......Chicken fettuccini I think...if I can get to the chicken tenders that is...LOL. Okay...I'm off for now. I'm tired and need to put the food away and finish filling the delapadated dishwasher. Later Gaters, Kai!

Rough times ahead....

It is a bad time of year to be out of work. We have the holidays comming up and several birthdays in December, but we now find ourselves once again without income. I am praying for a miracle....please pray for me! I really really need it right now. My husband lost his job today. And now I am worried about so many things I can't even think. I think I shall drown my sorrows in some PUMPKIN CAKE and diet be damned. Later Gaters, Kai.

My crazy life.....

Things have been kinda crazy around here the past several weeks. We were going to move to Colorado....and I was so busy working on getting ready for that, that I didn't get on here much, but it fell through and we are still in Oklahoma. I am very upset about it, but I know everything has a reason. I was looking forward to getting into a nice big house (the reason we were gonna move was the availability of a 5 bedroom house for lease option). I am sad about that, but I wasn't happy about having to pull Josh out of his Senior year in High School. But anyway.....we stayed and are just going through everyday stuff. I was able to get Hannah in a dance class. She is so thrilled and she looks to adorable in her little outfit and ballet shoes! They have changed my antidepressant from Lexapro to Prozac. I am hoping this will work better and not give me a tummy ache. Well.....I gotta take Caleb to Scouts here in a few minuets, so I gotta go finish dinner and feed the kids. Later Gaters, Kai!

I'm back....

I have finally gotten all better from my ear infection. Took a long while for it to go 100% away, but it finally has. Not much else to tell at the moment. We are gearing up for the new school year and just trying to withstand this heat. I haven't been online much. I have started taking anti-depressant meds, but they aren't working....yet. I am hoping to feel better soon. I just really need to get my act in gear. Life just isn't any fun and I need to do alot of things and just cannot make myself get up and do them. Well...that's about it. Later Gaters, Kai.

Labyrinthitis

I am down and out....I have something called Labyrinthitis. It is an infection of the cochlea in the inner ear. It is causing me some major dizziness and sent me to the ER a few days ago. I am having a hard time sitting at the computer screen for very long cuz it doesn't help with the dizzies! So I may be gone for a while longer until I am feeling better. Take care y'all. I will check in when I can. Later Gaters, Kai.

5 things about me....

I been tagged by Dawn with a 5 thing about me meme......

5 things in my fridge...

There's alot in there right now cuz I did alot of shopping this weekend, so I'll pick a few I don't usually have.....

1. Cherries
2. Fresh Parmesean Cheese
3. Zuccini
4. Lots of deli meat and cheese
5. Kids Yogurt

5 things in my closet.....

1. Boxes of fabric
2. Boxes of patterns
3. Boxes of keepsake stuff
4. Hannah's porceline dolls for when she has her own room
5. Clothes and shoes

5 things in my purse.....

1. Diapers
2. Butt wipes
3. Several backup pacifiers
4. Zipper bag with my money and cards
5. Sugar free gum for the kids

5 things in my car....

1. Car seat
2. Various cups and fast food trash....LOL
3. Jumper cables
4. Magizines and mail
5. My change can

5 people I'm gonna tag....
Anyone that decides to read my blog...LOL.

Gotta go make dinner......Later Gaters, Kai.

I have a Crush!

I'm in love....or at least in lust. I have a secret crush. Don't tell my hubby. There is someone that I just really dig and get the biggest kick out of. Luckily.... there is absolutely no way in the world I'd ever meet him, much less get to even speak to him...EVER. This person is a celebrity. Now...a little bit about me. I just HATE people that go ga ga over celebrity. They bug the crap out of me, but I really DIG this guy. Now....I don't think I would ever, you know, like, faint or anything, if I ever got to meet him, but I'd be a very happy little camper. Secondly...I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.....Food network. When the kids aren't watching Cartoon network or a movie, I almost always have it on. And if you don't get cable or satellite tv, boy are you missing out. So...here's the deal. When we first got cable I really liked Racheal Ray, then Emeril was ok, but I don't like him much any more. The person I relate to most is Paula Deen, but my favorite.....absolute favorite food personality is....drum roll please..... (((((((ALTON BROWN)))))))!!!!! Okay...now, he isn't 100% perfect, but I just get the biggest kick out of him! I especially love his show GOOD EATS!!! It's such a well done, entertaining, and informative program. Very clean...in everyway. And I have learned so much from watching it over the past few years. Anyway....I made a recipe I saw late last night for dinner today and it turned out soooo Yummy that I just had to share. It was CHICKEN FRIED STEAK. Now...living in Oklahoma for the last 13 years I HAVE made CFS before, and it has always been good, but this one was way great! My dh wanted it after watching the episode on CUBE STEAK . After reading the recipe you will see he cubed his own steaks...but I didn't do that. I found some that looked pretty good and used pre-cubed steaks from the store. The other thing I did was I added seasoning to the dredging flour. Salt, pepper, garlic powder and a pinch of chyenne pepper. I did this cuz that is how I make my fried chicken and thought it'd be better, and it was! Anyway, if you get a chance....take a look at Alton Brown and some of his recipes or shows. They are very entertaining and informative. By the way...it's my 8 year old son's favorite show too!......... OH!!! AB (Alton Brown) has a new show launching later this month called FEASTING ON ASPHALT. It looks like alot of fun and I can't wait to watch! Hope you will to! Later Gaters, Kai!

So, I'm lazy!

I posted 2 days ago about the Flyladys program to help you get control of a chaotic life. And I have yet to do the first step of shining my sink. UGH. Not sure if I'm lazy or just defiant. I have done a few other things, but just not that one very begining thing. I feel like such a naughty thing I'm not even sure I wanna even try any more. The thunder is rumbling and it's really cool here today, and I'm still only want to sit on my tail and do nothing. What is my major malfunction already?? Kai

I say-

I'm playing along with Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer . It is a list of eight things I say every day. Here goes:

1. Gimme some Sugars! I gotta have my LOVE!
2. What is she squalling about now? (Meaning Emma cuz she will just scream for no reason or for any little thing.)
3. BE NICE TO YOUR BROTHER/SISTER!!!
4. Okay, time to pick up. (Usually the living room)
5. You do that one more time and you will go to your bed!
6. I love you honey!
7. Someone find Emma's binkey.
8. Stop whining. I can't hear you when you whine. Use your big girl voice and then well figure out the problem. (usually to Hannah cuz she whines about EVERYTHING!)

Okay...not much uplifting there, but you get the idea...LOL. Let me know if you wanna play too. Later Gaters, Kai!

Flylady

I know there are alot of people out there that have tried the Flylady way of trying to get ahold of thier chaotic lives. I have tried it....sort of....a few different times over the last 5 or so years. I am signed up to her reminder group so I can get her daily reminders, but I have honestly never ever followed them. And I probably won't. I don't think I can handle that many things to do in one day. At least not for the first few months. My mind just does not work that way. Not at the moment it doesn't any way. I can't keep up with more than one, or maybe two, if I am in an exceptionally good place that day, things at a time. So....on to trying to get my life in order. I know that getting counseling for my depression will help. But I have to be proactive as well....I guess. At least that's what everyone tells me. I don't know if I'm crazy or not. But I know the Flylady works for alot of people, so I'm gonna try. I'm not going to kill myself. I will do what I can when I can. And if I have a bad day......I just have to give myself the permission to be human. I am only one person! When I have 6 people in a house where no one ever puts anything away and just dumps their trash on the floor....it's gonna take more than one day to get control of it. Especially since I am pretty much alone in it. I have to figure out how to get the kids all involved in helping. And I have a few ideas, but getting them to do things without fighting me....as usual....is the key. Anyway....off to shine my sink and maybe do another load of dishes. Later Gaters, Kai.

Mount Washmore

I am very grateful that I didn't live in the time before automatic washers and dryers. Gratitude not withstanding.....I DISPISE doing laundry!!! Well.....not the washing and drying. That's not so bad, but I can't stand folding and getting it all put away. Not real sure why. But due to my depression the amount of dirty laundry has gotten so piled up it is scary. It had taken over the back part of the house in the form of 4 overflowing hampers and all over the floor almost up to our knees. We had gotten afraid of walking through it for fear of some strange creature poping out at us. Something kind of like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings. But I finally got sick of it. I'm still not feeling better, but I just couldn't stand to look at it any more. So yeasterday I braved Mount Washmore. I spent the whole day washing, drying, and folding laundry. Though I only did 6 loads, I managed to calm the beast to being only in the 4 hampers. Everything is up off the floor now. The biggest problem is that I have so much junk in my bedroom that I can't put it away. And it is all....YEP...Laundry! Most of it is clean and just needs to be put up. It's just getting time in there to do it without Emma up my butt. I think we have too many clothes. I know alot of people only have enough for everyone to have one outfit for every day of the week, but I don't think I could do that. But I am working on whittling it down. I did manage to get in my room this afternoon, with the help of big bubby to watch the monkey. I got almost all the clothes gone through and put away. I have 3 big black garbage bags full of things to go to the Goodwill. So it's a start. I need to put the clothes on the dryer away, but that has to wait until Emma is up from naps. Anyway....I managed to make myself a laundry schedual ala Flylady. I have tried her ideas in the past, but had a hard time keeping up with her schedual. Just too much for me. So I am gonna to try adjusting it to my needs. Which is her suggestion to begin with. I don't think I will ever have a perfect home, but I can't live like this much more. With or without my depression. I am really hoping that if I get help with my depression, I will be more able to do things. At least that is my prayer. Well.....at least I did something. Most days I don't do much of anything at all, but sit on my butt and watch tv cuz my brain just won't let me move. I don't know what the change is, but I'm working on it. We'll see. Okay...off to get more accomplished. Or maybe not. I'm not gonna push it. Slow and steady wins the race. Later Gaters. Love, Kai.

I'm alive.....

Sort of. I have started the ball rolling to finally get on some medication for my depression. It has gotten to the point that I cannot ignore it any longer. I have spent the last month sitting on my butt on the couch and doing barely anything that I am supposed to be doing. I can't keep up with anything cuz I can't make myself get up and do anything. I sometimes feel like I am walking into a wall just crossing the livingroom. I haven't been crying or anything like that, but it's been close. I've been trying not to complain about it much here in internet land, but I need to explain my absence. I am alive....sort of. But as soon as I can get seen by the State mental health people that my dh goes to...maybe I'll be able to do more and be better. That is my prayer. If I stay off and don't post much.....now you all know the reason. Cuz if it's not that I'm busy with family and kid stuff....but mostly it's been the depression. I just haven't had much to say that has been good....so I just haven't said anything at all. So now you know. Later Gaters....gotta go get Josh from work. Kai

Yesterday was a Beautiful day. We had a lot of fun. There is a brand new park over by Overholser Lake that the kids wanted to go to. So we went around 10am.....before it got toooo very hot. The kids just loved it. Especially Emma. She just ran and ran and ran. Each time she went down the slide she would say, "I go whee!!!"
Later in the day we went to the Mobile home park swimming pool and they got even more excersise. We all had alot of fun. Emma sat in her ring with a seat and then she kicked her feet too move herself around and kept saying..."I swimming". It was very cute. I so need to do more things like this with them. I felt alot better getting out and doing something other than sitting on my butt. Well......Here are some pics I took at the park. Click on the thumbnails for a bigger view. Hope ya like em. Later Gaters, Kai!





Hannah on slide

Bubba-roo

What a face!!

"I go whee!!!"


Hannah on Swing

Emma Rock-a-bye

Caleb on the rock wall

Birthday X 2...

We had a really nice evening at the park on Monday. Celebrating Josh turning 17 and Emma turning 2. It was alot of fun. There weren't many presents for Josh cuz we got him a stereo and it was already set up in his room and inlaws got him a nice desk chair. So that was it for him. But he was happy. Emma made out well. Her new obsession is with "Rella" ...Translation, Cinderella. So I centered everything around that. She got a cute Cinderella doll, dress, and plate set, along with a carrier for her beloved babies. Her cake was a Disney princess cake and there was a small one for josh but it was plain. It's hard to plan party things for a 17 year old boy. Never thought it would be, but it is....LOL. He is chomping at the bit to move out next summer, so I am trying to think of things he will need when he leaves. The stereo was something I thought he might like/need, and it was. He helped pick it out, and is very happy with it. Emma loves all her new toys. Her grandparents got her the wagon and an outfit and her aunt and uncle got her a care bear. The kids all had alot of fun playing at the park. But I didn't have a chance to take pics of them.....oh well.....Next time. Later Gaters, Kai!

DADDY AND HIS PRINCESS

DADDY, BUBBA AND SISSY ALL HELP
WHAT A HAUL....LITERALLY!



4 PRINCESSES BIRTHDAY CAKE


ONE HANDSOME DUDE

BIRDIE KIDS. JOSH 17 AND EMMA 2

PRINCESS EMMA IN HER NEW CINDERELLA DRESS

GIGGLE BOT

Kindergarten Graduation

Today was Little Miss Hannah's Kindergarten Graduation. It was too cute and she was so proud. Anyways...they had a little ceremony, complete with grad hats that none of them could keep on, diplomas, and a small reception afterward. I am so glad they did this. Neither of the boys had anything like this. I can't wait to scrapbook it! LOL. Later Gaters. Off to finish getting ready for Josh and Emma's birthday at the park this afternoon. Kai!




HANNAH AND MELODY....BBFE!!!

THE LITTLE GRADUATE.....CLOSED EYES AND ALL!

AIN'T I TOOO CUTE!!!

HANNAH RECIEVING HER "DIPLOMA"

MY FAVORITE PART OF KINDERGARTEN WAS.....

THE WRITING CENTER.

Midnight visitor

Well...Miss Hannah isn't a baby any more!!! She lost her first tooth last night. My kids are just growing up to fast. Sometimes I wish I could slow down time to half speed and others I wish I could speed it up and get all the kids stuff over with. But mostly I wish they would stay little, cute, and sweet. Every time Emma says "Wuffoo" I just melt. Translation....Love you! She can be soo sweet and lovey but then she can be a major tyrant that I just want to give her away. But all in all I just want my babies to be babies forever if I could.
Having a 17 year old in the house and a 2 year old at the same time makes me see how swiftly and how short time really is. Especailly since one of Joshuas friends was killed in an auto/train accident this week. It is soo sad. But I'm just very glad it wasn't Josh. I think it'd kill me if anything happened to one of my kids.
I don't know how Tyler's mom is handling it! I know it's a sad note, but I gotta go get Hannah from school. Later Gaters, Kai!

Hapy Mother's Day

I am not the perfet mother....far from it! That's for sure! But it's nice to be recoginzed for my efforts. My two middle kids brought me breakfast in bed of cerial and juice along with their homemade gifts from school. My oldest gave me a DVD set of Fiddler on the Roof, Westside Story and Guys and Dolls. It was so sweet that he remembered how much I like old musicals. Haven't gotten my gift from dh, but he is working today and I'm sure I'll get it tonight. We are going to my inlaws for dinner tonight. My sil, Amy, and I are making dinner for her. She is making enchelads and mexican rice. I made pico de gallo, guacamole, and strawberry short cake. I will be giving her copies of the pictures of the kids I had taken at Easter. I hope she likes them.

I hope all you mommies out there.....and all you someday mommies....had a wonderful blessed day. I love my kiddos and I know you all do, and that we all love being showed love and appreciation for all we do for them. Have a wonderful day! Kai

Not much blog worthy....

Lately...sorry guys. I have been dealing with an on going health problem that has had me down and out for a while. And I haven't been able to do much of anything much less post here. And I'm not feeling much better to tell the truth. But I'm here for now and am trying to make the best of it. If I could get some anti-biotics into me I'd be better, but I don't see how that's gonna happen anytime soon. So pray for me and send me good wishes to feel well enough to do the things I should be doing.

_________________________________________

Just a quick thanks to Miss Kayla for the help in figuering out how to play around with my blog template and make it look all pretty. How do y'all like it??? Do you like my doll I made??? I thought it was cute! Anyway.....big GRACIAS to Kayla for the help!!!

Not much else other than that for now. More later....I promise. Later Gaters, Kai.

Rain, Rain...don't go away....

Please stay for the rest of the day! You are so lovely and refresing...and you so match my miserable mood. Rain, Rain...don't go away! Please, please stay the rest of the day......

At the moment we are having a lovely down pour of rain. After a day of pouty gray skies......It is FAN-FRIGGIN'-TASTIC!!!! Alot of people wish the rain away. Not me. Hardley ever. But mostly not today. I just love the rain. As long as there isn't alot of wind or lightening, like now...I think it is just lovely. I am down, depressed, and sad today, and even though I like rain, for the most part, the dull grayness of it matches my mood. Kai

Poor Hannah

By the end of the day last Friday, Hannah looked like a rashey red balloon. Her face was so swollen she was unrecognizable. I took her to the ER Saturday morning. They gave her the steroids that her dr should have given her. I was soooo irritated at them. Anyway...she's alot better now. Her rash is doing alot better and the swelling is gone. She has some scaley skin we're having to deal with. I am also having to deal with people thinking that Poison Ivy and Oak are contaigeous....UGH. Ummmm......hello......it's from a PLANT not a virus! Once the oil is gone....you can't get the rash from someones allergic reaction. Don't be dumb!!! Oh well....she's alot better and that's what matters.

Other than that it's been a rough week for me. I have had a hard time just functioning. I think it's been the raiging head of the PMS monster doing me in. Now that Aunt Flow is here maybe I'll feel better. We'll see. I have alot to do. The house is a huge wreck...not that that is any different than usual, but I just can't seem to make myself get up and do anything. Mark was unhappy with me yesterday cuz of it. Oh well.....that's how it goes sometimes.

Caleb went to Tiger Safari yesterday with his Gifted class on a field trip. He had a BALL. Just would not stop talking about it for anything and even got to bring back a piece of lizard skin. Hannah gets to go to Martin Nature park on Friday. She excited about that too. Tomorrow is Joshua's 17th birthday...I sure can't believe he's that old already. It seems like yesterday we were taking him on the plane home to Kodiak to my mom's house. Emma turns 2 on Sunday....my baby is getting tooo big!!!.....Time for another baby I guess....LOL. Later Gaters, Kai.

Rashes and Potatos....

I got the kids up and going for school this morning. They were supposed to have Doughnuts for Daddy for breakfast at school....both of them were really excited about it, too. So was daddy...give him free Krispy Kreem and he's a happy camper...LOL. Well....I get the livingroom lights turned on and see that Hannah has broke out in this horrid bright red rash all over her face and arms. I take her clothes off too see how covered in the rash she is and low and behold she has it under both arms down her torso. Between her upper thighs and all over her arms and face. It is hot to the touch and itchy. The kid got some poison oak on her hands a few days ago and from what it seems this is an allergic reaction to it. She went with daddy and bubby to the doughnut thing but then Mark brought her back home. I called her pediatrition, and it took them 4 hours to call me back and tell me to give her OTC Clairatin over the weekend and if she isn't better on Monday to bring her in. UGH....I was irritated to say the least. I sure hope the Clairatin helps cuz she is just downright miserable.

The potato bandit has struck again. It is about 2 ft high with curly blonde hair, brilliant blue eyes and a giggle that would turn anyones day bright. Her name is Emmaleigh and she will be 2 on the 30th of this month. And she is the funniest thing ever. She loves her baby dolls alot and her new pink Easter bunny....But her favourite toy by far are the potatos I keep a bin in the Kitchen. She gets a big mixing bowl, or pot and fills it with the taters and carries them all over the house. I took pictures of her putting her babies in the potato bin all lined up with the potatos standing gaurd, and the biggest grin ever. As soon as I can I will post them. My cutesie bootsie...LOL. Later Gaters, Kai.

A change of plans....

So dinner yesterday was supposed to be homemade chicken fingers with taters and gravey, and green beans.....Well, Marks boss wanted me to come take care of the clothes at the store (which I do once a week) and so I wasn't able to get to make chicken fingers. Was planning on doing it today, but while I was at Walmart I saw a bag of tortilla mix and decided I wanted to try to make some of my own. SOOOOOOOOO.....my plan for dinner has changed. I am going to make chicken fajitas with homemade pico de gallo and guacamole and chips. Sounds really good to me right now. I just love mexican food! It's my favorite.

PICO DE GALLO

5 large tomatoes, seeded and diced
1 large onion, diced
1 jalapino pepper, seeded and finely minced (leave the seedes and rib if you want it spicier)
1 bunch celantro, chopped
salt to taste

Mix all these things together in a bowl and chill for at least an hour, more if you can, so the flavours can mingle. Serve with tortilla chips for dipping or use as a condement on tacos or fajitas! SOOOOO good!

GUACAMOLE

4 avacados, peeled
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
3 Tablespoons premade salsa
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon garlic powder
salt to taste

Mash avacado and add remaining ingredients. Taste and season to your taste. You can add hot sauce if you want more spice or add medium or hot salsa. I use mild cuz my kids don't like it hot. I have to usually double the recipe cuz they all inhale it so.

Hope you like these. Remember....they are just the way I do them. I'm not 100% sure if the amounts are right cuz I am writing them from memory. Sorry if it's wrong in any way. Later gaters, Kai.

Abbo's and Ocean's

My youngest child will be 2 in about 10 days. She is just adorable and as smart as a whip. My husband and I are always amazed at some of the things she does that seem above her age leval and ability. For example: The other day I was sitting in my favorite spot reading my book and she comes to me and pulls on my pants and says..."Ocean, Momma. Ocean, Momma." Well, we do not live anywhere near an ocean, and I am pretty sure she doesn't know what one is. So I told her that I didn't understand her. She says it again....I give her the shoulder shrug and say again "what baby? What do you want? I don't understand." She puts her hands out infront and says, holding out one hand..."Abbo" which translated is apple, and that I did understand. Then, with the other hand out says...."Ocean, Mommy. Ocean." She was correlating apples and ORANGES to get her point across so I could understand what she wanted. She knew that we keep them both in the same drawer in the fridge and the somehow they were related. IE, both fruit or something. It just floored me that she could make that kind of connection at her tender age. What a smart baby!!!

Yesterday and Today.....

Well....yesterday went well enough. I got alot that I wanted to do done and the kitchen is much better. I got the really bad counter cleaned off and the floor mopped, which I wasn't sure I'd do, but went ahead and did anyway. The dishes are finally all caught up...or at least until I finish the cookie, then I'll have to do them again. Today will be a day to spend with the kids, and maybe get a little laundry done. I hope to work on my bedroom later today after Josh gets up and around to help with little E.

Okay....Lunch is un imaginative...just hot dogs and chips. Dinner will be homemade chicken fingers, mashed potatos with gravey and green beans. Later Gaters, Kai.

Kids n' Cookies

Well.....Mark had a meeting on the south side of town today and I didn't have a way to get Hannah home from Kindergarten, so she stayed home, which upset Caleb, so he stayed home too. Then Josh woke up with a sore throat, so he's here as well....UGH! Oh well...no biggie. We'll just have a fun day watching movies and baking cookies together. We're gonna do a batch of Snickerdoodles and Chocolate chip if I don't get too burned out. I make wicked, kick butt cookies, if I do say so my self. So...Here's my recipes for anyone interested.....


Snickerdoodles

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar (I used light brown)
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
]/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
Topping
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugars at high speed. Add egg, vanilla, and beat until smooth. In another bowl, combine flour, salt, baking soda, and cream of tartar. Pour dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, mix well. Preheat oven to 300° while you let dough rest 30-60 minutes in fridge. In a small bowl combine topping. Take about 2 1/2 tablespoons of dough and roll it into a ball. Roll this dough in the cinnamon/sugar mixture and press onto greased cookie sheet. Bake cookies 10-12 minutes, NO MORE. *Cookies may seem undercooked but will develop. Don't roll your dough into too big of a ball; they may not turn out in that much time if you do that. It's a very good cookie, it's just all a matter of getting the cooking time right.

Kick butt Chocolate chip Cookies

1 cup softened butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
2 eggs
2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon each baking powder and baking soda
1-12 oz pkg semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large mixing bowl, cream together butter, sugars, eggs and vanilla. In different bowl, mix together flour, salt baking powder and baking soda. combine the wet and dryt ingredients. Stir in the chocolate chips. With fingers, place golf ball sized dought portions 2 inches apart on and ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 9-10 minuets or just until edges are light brown.

Okay...my biggest thing I do to make my cookies extra good is I alway try to use real butter and not margarine and I also try to use real vanilla. Sometimes I don't have those things and have to make due, but I like spending the extra little bit to make them as good as I can. Hope you like the recipes. Later Gaters....I'm off to make a mess...LOL. Love, Kai.

In the dog house

I have done something to make my husband angry with me. He won't talk to me...he won't tell me what it is. I think I know, but I'm not sure and I hate not knowing. It drives me nuts! My mom used to let me know she was angry with me and then let me stew about it for hours before she'd tell me and it alway made me crazy. My insides are mush and I am all nervous and upset now. I feel bad for whatever I did, but I can't make amends until I know what it is I did wrong. SORRY HUNNY! Is all I can say for now.

Other than that....day's going well for now. Other than what I just said. I got up and going today...which is always hard for me. I showered, dressed and got the laundry started before Emma woke up...which is always my plan, but it never happens. Then I worked on the kitchen some...it had gotten really bad again and my crap counter is a mess as well. It's still not done, but about 2/3 of the way. I hope to finish it and some more laundry today. It has been too hot to do much cooking the past few days. Had to on Sunday for Easter, but I didn't do anything but sloppy joes yesterday. I want to do a bit of baking, but just can't bring myself to turn the oven on. If it's cooler today, maybe I will. We shall see.

Dinner is Pepper Steak over hot rice, Corn and bread and butter. Don't know if there'll be dessert or not today. Probably not. The kids have been chowing on too much candy from Easter anyway. Later Gaters, Kai.

Strawberries, triffles, and messes.....

OH MY!!! Ala, Wizard of Oz...Lions and tigers and bears....OH MY! First it was Emma dumping a couple of quart pkgs of Strawberries on the floor and scrambling to get a couple "Bewwies" squirrled away to the "LeeWomb" so she could eat them. Amid stiffled giggles, I washed and hulled her a couple and sent her to the "LeeWomb" aka livingroom, to eat them. Then yesterday I made a brownie, vanilla pudding, strawberrie triffle for dessert and it SUCKED!!! To put it mildly. Flavors woulda been fine but for the fact that it was hot here yesterday and my fridge just didn't get very cold and the pudding didn't set well....so we had brownie, vanilla pudding, strawberry soupy slop for dessert last night. Marks family all said it was fine, but I was WAAAYYYY bummed!!! I am gonna try to make one again....this time with better pre-planning and more time instead of rushing it.

The Easter bunny made his yearly visit yesterday and the kids were all thrilled. Josh wasn't happy cuz I made him go to church and he had to turn right around after and work an 8 hr shift at Braums. Oh well.....he's finding out what life is all about is all I have to say. The girls looked really cute in their new Easter dresses and the boys looked oh so handsome. Even if my black wearing teen was in powder blue.....he looked so nice. What can I say....I make pretty kids...LOL. As soon as I can get Josh to email me the pics I had done on Friday I will post them.

Well, I'm off to try to accomplish something around here. The mess part of my title is the whole bloody house...as usual. The living room is trashed from Easter festivities with grass from their baskets all over the place. Laundry is backed up....again. And the Kitchen is too scary to even try to describe. I hope to get a least some of it done. Wish me luck. Later Gaters, Kai. PS....dinner is Sloppy Joes, some kind of rice mix, baby carrots with ranch dressing and some red grapes that were on sale. Kai

Busy, busy, busy....

I have spent the past week busily trying to get things in better order around here. I spent Sunday...(sorry, but got the bug and worked even though it was Sabbith, dh had to work anyway, so I thought I might as well too)...working on my mess of a bedroom. I went through all the clothes that were taking up all the walking space, which isn't more than around one side and the foot of my bed. I got them all either in the laundry to be washed, folded and put away, or in a bag for give away. I now have 2 large black bags for Goodwill. I am still working on catching up the dirty laundry. Going through, washing, sorting out what isn't needed or putting up off season clothes now that it is 70+ degrees outside most days. I felt really good about the progress I made, but have kind of come to a stand still the past few days. I am hoping after Easter Holiday, I'll be able to get back into the swing of things.

Speaking of Easter....I took the kids today to Walmart and had pictures done at the photo studio there. I got the girls matching dresses. Caleb offered to wear a pink shirt....Shocked the heck out of me. I told him he didn't have to, but he said he wanted to, so he picked out a nice pale pink shirt with darker mauvish colour tie. He looked so handsome. I tried to get Josh to wear pink, but it was no go......Kid usually wears all black, so I compromised. He said I'd have to pay him to wear pink...I said, how about blue. He said that was fine. So I got him a baby blue dress shirt, and he wore one of his dads darker blue ties. They all looked so cute and while we waited on our appointment, we walked around the store. We were stopped several times for them to be ooooed and awed over how cute they were. The down side was that they put the pictures on a 3.5 flopy disc and our floppy drive is on the Fritz. So....I have to wait until Joshua can take it to his friends or school and email them to me before I can post the pictures to this here blog thing.....LOL. But as soon as I have them, I'll post them.

Well....It's after 11pm and I'm tired from running around all day, and Emma is into all kinds of stuff. I need to go to bed. Catch you Later Gaters!!! Kai

Potatoe Soup

It soothes the soul and is so rib sticking yummers. Everyone here loves it. And it is so easy to make. When I was a kid, and money was tight, there was always Potatoe soup. I thought I might start and post some of my recipes on my blog to share with the world so y'all can enjoy my brilliance in the kitchen...LOL, just kidding. Anyway.....here's

POTATOE SOUP

3 ribs of celery sliced
1 med. onion, diced
1 clove garlic, chopped
2 Tbs. Marg or butter or olive oil....whatever you have on hand, or you like.
4 lbs pototoes, peeled and diced
3 Tbs. flour
3 cups of milk
Kosher salt, pepper, chyenne pepper to taste
pinch nutmeg

Ok...here goes.....
Sweat celery, onion in garlic until tender. Add diced potatoes just cover with water, add a couple big pinches of salt to season potatoes. Bring to a boil. Continue boil unitl potatoes are all soft and tender. Remove from heat. Using a potatoe smasher, smash tater chuck until as smooth or chuncky as you like it. Add flour and mix well. Return to a medium flame and add milk. Bring back to a boil. Add more milk if you desire soup to be thinner. Add you seasonings and taste. Simmer for 5 or so minuets stirring frequently, scrapping bottom to prevent scorching. Serve with grated cheese, bacon bits (I used real bacon that I fry up and crumble), sour cream, and/or sliced green onion. One or all these additions are wonderful. My kids love to top their own. I make the bowl then they put on what they want. I usually have some kind of bread, even if it is just some bake off fridge biscuits. Hope you try and like. Any questions, just ask. Later Gaters, Kai!!

Terry Goodkind

Something I failed to talk about is that I have been reading alot lately. I reread the last 2 current Harry Potter books and some other fantasy books. I haven't read this much since I was in High School. I was at the book store with Josh the other day and found a series of books by a guy named Terry Goodkind called the Sword of Truth series. There seems to be 10 books in it so far.....YIPEE. Gives me alot to read. I am about 1/3 of the way through the first book.... "Wizards First Rule". It's pretty good so far. I really enjoy the escape it gives me. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed reading. I am not too into reading informationg type books, but give me a good fantasy and I'm all over it. Anyway....just thought I'd give you an idea of a good read for me. Later Gaters, Kai!

:D....Hi again

Life has gotten the better of me lately. I have been having some very difficult times with depression, and because of it, inability to motivate myself to do much of anything. The house is a wreck and I feel like a major failure as a wife and mother and all around person. I have been trying to do a few things different, but it's hard. All I want to do is sit and watch TV or sleep. I also just don't know where to begin most of the time. It is all so overwhelming to me. Our bishop asked if I wanted some help, so he had the Relief Society president come over and we did a lot in the kitchen. Trouble is, I haven't kept it up. It isn't super bad and wouldn't take much to get it back to the way we had it.I just gotta get up off my butt and do it.
I am not going to bother updating on the past few months. I will just say, holidays were fine. Trip was fine. Everything went well. We got our tax returns in the middle of February and were able to get the things we couldn't do otherwise. We got some new livingroom furniture, a new dryer....that I did a happy dance for!!! And a new mattress. They were all very much needed things and we don't ever have the money to get "big" things like that. So it was nice to be able to take care of them. I took Caleb and a couple of friends to play laser tag and took Hannah and a couple friends to Build a Bear Workshop. They all had a lot of fun. Josh got a TV for his bedroom. Right now Josh is working for Braums Ice Cream and he is doing well there. They want him to work full time thins summer. I am hoping he will save enough to get himself some kind of vehicle. Mark is still working for Family Dollar, but he is looking for something else that will pay better. He is hoping for another bank job, but we will see what happens. Emma is growing by leaps and bounds both mentally and physically. She is really smart and as cute as could be, but also as onnery as can be. Her second birthday is in 3 weeks....I just can't believe it has been that long since she was born.
Well...I can't think of anything else to write about today. I am going to post my goals for the day and see how I do tomorrow.....

GOALS FOR 4/9:
Get dressed
Clean up kitchen
Mop kitchen
Work on my bedroom
Work on laundry
Get kids to finish their room
Make nice dinner
Get ready for tomorrow before bed

That's my to do's....we'll see how it goes. Later gaters, Kai!

I'm here.....

Sort of....LOL. Anyway....I have been off for a bit, but I am back now. Again...sort of. As I have said before....I suffer from depression, and the past few months have been particularily bad. I'm here, but not as good as I'd like to be. Hopefully soon I will be able to get on some medication and be alot better than this. So...please be patient with me. More updating soon....PROMISE! Kai